It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
smell my finger.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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