apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
