And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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