bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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