I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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