I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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