he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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