hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
