Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
