walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i need some magic done to my vagina
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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