i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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