It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
