you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
