What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I look better un-naked...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
