this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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