There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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