let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
