She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
