Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
