he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
