nut hugger
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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