are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
