Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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