So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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