the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
