I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
