i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
