Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
