just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
