dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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