in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize