Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
