Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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