Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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