That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm like, not good at living.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
