Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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