I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
