I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
