we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize