i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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