I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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