Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I looked at my own cervix.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
