I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
