yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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