my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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