This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
