Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize