I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
