weddingsv make me drug and hornr
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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