I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
