the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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