She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
