I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
