I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
