dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
