Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
