I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize