just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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