we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize