Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
