You can't special order awesome
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
