Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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