She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
