saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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