If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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