If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
