Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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