I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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