the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
