Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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