Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize